The Easiest Way to Fix Holdouts

So we've come to the day when a dumb, fat offensive lineman from fucking Wisconsin, who couldn't even bother to show up to the NFL Draft because he was out drinking beer and fishing with his dad is going to hold out from training camp until he gets a monster deal? Are you fucking kidding me?! The NFL Draft is a mess, and it all starts with the compensation system. Year after year, there are big name holdouts who want the kind of money that veterans earn, all before participating in a single team drill, let alone playing any snaps.

I simply don't understand why a league that constantly fucks over its players with shitty pensions, no disability benefits, and generally the lowest paid players (despite being the most violent sport) feels the need to allow these unproven douchebag rookies come in and try to strong arm the teams that draft them. These teams are giving draftees the opportunity to PLAY A SPORT FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS A YEAR. These assholes don't need to put on a shirt and tie and toil away at a computer 12 months out of the year for $40,000. And they still want more? You must be fucking kidding me. No wonder Larry Johnson (and many before him) thinks it's OK to sign a legal contract, and then withhold the services they agreed to provide unless they get more money.

How do we fix this problem? Simple. Take a page from the NBA. When Portland takes Oden (although they should take Durant), he'll be locked in for four years, with the last two as team options. He gets $3.8 mil for the first, followed by $4.1, $4.6 and $5.6. The rest of the first rounders shake out from there. How easy is that? No bitching, no moaning, no complaining. You don't like it, don't declare in the first place dick. The NBA may make some queer decisions like the dress code, or suddenly changing the ball used to play the game, but they generally take care of their players. But despite the guaranteed contracts, the marketing and huge endorsement deals, they don't let any of these potential draft busts hold a team hostage. It's such an easy, blatant solution, it's no wonder the NFL fucks it up.

I simply don't understand why a league that constantly fucks over its players with shitty pensions, no disability benefits, and generally the lowest paid players (despite being the most violent sport) feels the need to allow these unproven douchebag rookies come in and try to strong arm the teams that draft them. These teams are giving draftees the opportunity to PLAY A SPORT FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS A YEAR. These assholes don't need to put on a shirt and tie and toil away at a computer 12 months out of the year for $40,000. And they still want more? You must be fucking kidding me. No wonder Larry Johnson (and many before him) thinks it's OK to sign a legal contract, and then withhold the services they agreed to provide unless they get more money.

Goodell needs to take a page from Mr. Stern. He clearly doesn't shy away from shoving the hot rod of justice straight up any players degenerate ass, so he should have no problem taking the draftees out back and kicking their asses into line. No holdouts, no bitching. A rookie pay scale fixes all that. So come on, Rog, take that big stick and whoop the ass the way I know only you can do.