FOXSports Likes THHY

Adam Schein has an idea on how to prevent all those NFL rookie holdouts. I'm in awe of his remarkable genius.

Football + Penny = Happiness

Okay, I know what you are all thinking and the answer is no, I actually did not die this summer. I've actually been at a little party town on the east coast all summer dedicating my life to Bankers Club, Natty Light and the occasional fornication. However, I am making my way back up north and will bless you with your dirty little fetishes I like to call my post. By the way, believe me that there will be an amazing fill-in of summertime stories coming up, ALL DETAILS INCLUDED. So dont go whacking it yet. Now onto the main reasons I was so inspired to post instead of look up porn (excuse: just did that) or go chase some tail (excuse: just looked up porn).

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!

The inevitable depression from the end of summer can only be lifted by one thing, The Bright Shining Star on the helmets of America's Team, YOUR DALLAS COWBOYS. That's right, the 'Boys just whipped up on the Colts for the 2nd time in the past year. I understand that its just preseason and everything but I dont fucking care because its finally football season.

Maybe Tony Romo cries on the field, maybe he fumbles the most important snap of the past 5 years of my life, maybe I hated him for a while. However, he has rebounded nicely by being denied the near impossible task of holding a football and has settled for completing 10-11 passes in the first game back from the most devastating moment in sports history. He will be back as the best quarterback in the division, scratch that, in the conference this season. I admit it, I'm gay for Tony Romo and there is nothing wrong with that.

Dallas Cowboys- soon to be 6-time SUPERBOWL CHAMPS
Philadelphia Eagles- still at ZERO

ON TO SOME HOOPS NOW

My favorite player to ever wear a jersey is staging a comeback. Thats right the most explosive player from the 90's Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway is going to play for the Heat along side fellow 90's great and former teammate Shaq. Not only do I predict that Hardaway will comeback better than ever, I predict that he supplants D-Wade as the Heat's go-to guy. Okay maybe not but it will be funny as hell to see him and Shaq playing together for the first time since the big guy shaded out to L.A. If you dont remember how good this guy was then you are missing some great memories of a champion amongst men. As a refresher I left you a clip of the two best guards from the 90's showing how good basketball used to be.

Penny's comeback raises an even more important question, What happened to Lil' Penny? There are rumors that he was found dead in a St. Louis crackhouse http://forum.sbrforum.com/private-zone/82-li-l-penny-found-dead-crack-house.html, but that story has more holes in it than Tony Montana did at the end of Scarface. I personally feel that Lil' Penny realized that his larger replica was declining due to injuries and decided to jump ship rather than be part of a shitty entourage to a former world-class athlete. I hope to hear reports of him running around South Beach this season with an old friend and possibly appear in appearance in a Nike commercial, but unfortunately we may have seen that little plastic turd chasing Tyra Banks for the last time. I'm leaving you a gift so that you can remember Lil' Penny.