Dirty Dungy

Sometimes in life you find out things that you really didn't want to know. First it was when I found out that Santa was a fake (way to ruin all my dreams mom and dad look at where I am now a 21 year old lifeguard who posts random thoughts about sports on a website, its all your fault). Second was when Michael Irvin got caught with cocaine, I mean seriously who saw that coming. Thirdly and most importantly was when I realized that all Eagles fans are actually flaming homosexuals and HUGE John Amaechi fans (Actually I knew that last one my whole life, Troy Aikman told me that while he was busy winning three of our 5 Super Bowls, Randall Cunningham was busy making sweet man love with Ron Jaworski). However, the best discovery of the past week was when we found out that Tony Dungy, the NFL's Model Citizen, turned out to be a big Tim Hardaway Fan.

Thats right Tony Dungy, the coach who doesn't curse, doesn't like gays. Dont believe me? Check it out. http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2414

Although his quote does not directly say that he hates gays or is homophobic, he clearly feels self-righteous about his beliefs and is against the thought of gay marriage.

Here at THHY, we would like to make it known that we completely support Dungy and his anti-gay marriage philosophy. Now I dont have anything against gay relationships, OJ and Shawn Mc have had one for a long time, but the main reason I am against gay marriage is because of the tax-breaks they would receive. Those tax-breaks are there to benefit married couples who are starting a family and need money to help raise children, not for the couples who lack the scientific ability to reproduce. For you cynics out there, it is nearly impossible for John Amaechis to adopt because of the screwed up situation the child would be placed in, that is unless your rich gays.

Okay although I realize that I have completely bashed gays there, I do want throw out my support for real lesbians. I'm not talking about the 6'5" female basketball player lesbians that Pokey "Sticky Fingers" Chatman likes to recruit. I'm talking about the lesbians that we've dreamed about since puberty. If I ever meet a couple of real lesbians who are around 5'6" 115 lbs and gorgeous, I will argue to death about their rights to adopt and be married. As long as I get to watch the honeymoon!

Speaking of that, I thought college was supposed to be my prime chance to meet hot lesbians. Man was I wrong, real lesbians are the Santa's of the grown man. Your friends tell you stories about seeing them but you haven't yet. You keep holding out for your chance but it never comes. Then one day, you may be watching sports center or looking up porn when your girlfriend/hook-up buddy comes up to you and informs you that Real Lesbians don't exist. Nothing is more depressing than that moment, everything you've thought of and worked towards since being a 12 year old boy is gone. Now the only chance you'll ever get to seeing lesbians hook up is at a Girls Rugby Team party, but those aren't real lesbians.

Hey, there's always hope of a three-some though!

Finally, I don't want to come off like Bill Simmons here and spend the entire back end of my post telling you about other things on the internet, but heres a couple things that I found worth wasting some time.

If you ever wondered what a Star Wars Rap would look and sound like, here you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8s7PIGVZow

Oh and in case you wondered what instigated the Levi Jones-Joey Porter love-fight check this one out http://www.themightymjd.com/2007/03/20/joey-porterlevi-jones-fight-the-transcript/

Thats all I have for now, enjoy and if your gay dont even think about getting married!