Stupidity is Contagious

Okay, I realize that I'm not pumping out these things like I said I was going to but I'm getting there. Plus the Joo is taking every subject before I even get a chance to write, kind of like a secret scheme to steal the site for himself. Unfortunately for him, I have found a way to rid him of his evil plan. How will I do this you ask? The answer is actually quite simple. I will never sleep and keep constant tabs on ESPN.com therefore taking my pick of the stories before he would ever have the opportunity to take the best subjects. Ever. Or else I guess I could stop being a lazy shit and just write. Whatever, ON WITH THE POST.

As its being reported the Miami Dolphins are really trying to get Trent Green. Are they high? Let's look at the facts, Trent Green is a 36 year old quarterback who is coming off a season where he suffered a concussion that made him miss half of the season. His team played better once his back-up, Damon Huard, started taking the snaps. If they do get Green, they are going to have to pay him starting quarterback money too. How can you commit a minimum of $7 million a year to a 36 year old quarterback who missed most of last season with a concussion?

This all sounds a little familiar though. Last season the Dolphins sign a quarterback who is returning from a major injury. After his back-up took over his team rallied and almost made the playoffs. They signed him to a starting quarterbacks contract. Now, Daunte Culpepper will most likely be traded before the season begins. This team is running in circles with the number of mediocre quarterbacks they have brought in.

Now lets apply logic. Bringing in veterans with an injury history (Culpepper and Green) and letting inexperienced nobodies (A.J. Feeley) doesn't work so what option is left? How about the good old fashioned NFL draft.

Everyone seems to agree that there are two "can't miss" quarterback prospects in this draft and almost every mock draft that I've seen has them going in the top 5. However, many teams in the top 5 are supposedly interested in trading down and the Dolphins would most likely end up giving up a pick in order to bring in Trent Green anyways. So why wouldn't they package their 1st rounder with a couple other later picks and try to trade up to get what could possibly be their quarterback of the future? Maybe that makes too much sense.

I'm making the prediction that if Miami makes this trade and ends up with Trent Green then he will not end up as their starting quarterback the following season.

I also want to address the Charlie Manuel situation. Since I am from the Philadelphia area, I get to hear everyone's take on Manuel's furious argument with WIP sports broadcaster Howard Eskin, and let me say that I am loving every minute of this. Now don't get me wrong, I think Manuel is a completely horrible manager (see Brett Myers getting moved to the bullpen), but I would have loved to see Eskin get his little whiny ass kicked all over the Phillies clubhouse. He is the definition of ignorant combined with the definition of asshole. All he has ever done is trash every Philadelphia team with the exception of the Eagles due to his giant man crush on Andy Reid.

This is how Eskins show can be summed up for the past 5 years:

• Phillies suck, Larry Bowa is too hard on them
• Phillies suck, Charlie Manuel is too soft on them
• 76ers suck, They will never win with Iverson
• 76ers suck, They will never be as good as they were with Iverson
• Flyers suck, Ken Hitchcock's players aren't responding to him
• Flyers suck, Steven's players aren't playing as hard as when Hitchcock was coach.

He seriously contradicts himself on every show and whenever he realizes that there is a caller who has figured him out, he hangs up on him. Hey newsflash Howie, its okay to be wrong. People make mistakes, but calling everyone a moron and hanging up on them because their point is more logical than yours is something only an ignorant asshole would do.

Staying on WIP for a second, lets just say that listening to that station is one of the more enjoyable parts of my day. There is nothing more entertaining than listening to Philly sports fans calling in and crying about not winning a championship in 24 years. The best is during football season, every year there is one guy who swears that this is the Eagles turn to win it all. Then January comes around and the same guy is balling his eyes out into his cell phone on his way to drive himself off a bridge. Absolutely HILARIOUS.

By the way, Manuel will look awesome as the White Sox hitting coach and once again plays the role as Jim Thome's gay lover next season. Also, as one extra input here, fuck the White Sox and fuck Mark Buehrle. Why does shit like this always happen to my team. Oh my God, I sound like a Philly fan. Unlike Philly fans however I'm not going to drive off a bridge.

Anyways, thats all I've got for now but I will be back later on with some more sarcasm and insight.