Sunday, April 01, 2007

Swimming is a Crock of Shit

OK I can't sit here and take this any longer. Jesus just wrote an entire full length post about fucking swimming. No way in hell could I let that shit go down. Nobody gives a fuck that some drunk driving asshole won a couple races in some event that isn't even the Olympics. No one even cares when it IS the Olympics, check the Nielsen's. So what if this douchebag maybe jumped early, but maybe he didn't, and some other buttplug didn't win because of it and all this nonsense stopped him from dominating a sport that no one cares about? Look at Roger Federer - just as dominant, but he plays tennis so no one cares. Even Tiger Woods gets hardly any face time when he wins five or six tournaments in a row - NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE FAKE ASS SPORTS. Time to bring back the entertainment.

Today is a really solid day of sports. The Pheonix - Dallas games carry alot of stories and subplots, even if this one was somewhat less dramatic. And while I could care less about watching the Cardinals or the Mets, it does signal the start of baseball again which is fucking great. Plus Wrestlemania is tonight... I'll be downloading that one tomorrow.


The best sports event today, however was hands down the Goody's Cool Orange 500 in Martinsville, Virginia. In a race full of cautions (13 in all) and even a red flag rain delay, you still couldn't have asked for more excitement. Cars were loose all day as everyone is adjusting to the Car of Tomorrow. The fastest car on the track could come into pit road and lose all of it's advantage. Even when Jimmie Johnson took off for the last 100+ laps, it was still anyone's race. The whole thing was an edge of your seat affair, especially after the red flag when the track was slick and the rubber wasn't gripping as well. Every turn was a spin out waiting to happen. And in the end, it came down to teammates Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon running 1 - 2.

After the restart, it was clear that neither of them would be challenged by the rest of the pack. With 18 laps left, they were going green again and Gordon was clearly looking to take the inside. He tried through every turn to get the inside, but Jimmie fought him off every time. It was obvious he was going to have to take Jimmie out of the way. But he wouldn't do it. He was clearly bumping him on every turn, but he never really got into Jimmie's side. He was driving clean and respectable against not just a teammate, but a prodigy he mentored himself. Had Gordon not brought Jimmie up through the Hendricks Racing ranks, he might not have made it to the big time. With every passing turn and every lap ticking closer to the checkered flag, Jeff was clearly tempted. He could have easily spun Jimmie and the race would have been his. Finally on the last turn of the dance he had to do something - and he did. He did the only thing he could have done - he got under Jimmie and bumped him twice. He tried to move him out of the way, but when it didn't work, he backed off before he took either of them out of it. He let his teammate take the flag and in the process showed the sportsmanship and wisdom too often missing from sports. He had respect for the man ahead of him, and he knew bickering within the same ownership would only cause trouble for both of them for the rest of the season. In the end, he chose the smart route, taking the second most points out of Virginia. And even though you could see the frustration on his face as Jimmie was given the Ridgeway clock - you can see he was able to justify this near photo finish.


I'm sure that plenty of people just like me were psyched up for the Final Four yesterday - and then were fucking embarrassed by the level of play and the way both games unfolded. GT and OSU was completely underwhelming as Oden got in foul trouble early, and he and Hibbert barely played directly against each other. And Florida sleepwalked through a game that UCLA just plain slept through. The Gators looked like they could care less, and if they play like that tomorrow, they won't repeat. And if that happens, I'll be incredibly happy because the Black Jesus is an avid and completely obnoxious Gator fan. If they win tomorrow, I may just have to kill him, leaving this blog with only one actual contributor. Although that might be good for the readers - especially the ones who appreciate good grammar and intellectually structured sentences.

I didn't watch any of the baseball game, but it looks like the Mets have it all wrapped up in the 9th. Fuck. Oh well. They still have no chance - it's the Phillies year. When their pitching falls apart in two months, they'll have zero fucking chance.

I should be back mid-day tomorrow with a Vegas post but as always I don't promise anything. I may even try a running diary for the game, with of course a break for 24, but don't get your panties in a bunch. I might not be that motivated yet.

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