Random Notes

First off, loyal readers (all none of you), I'd like to say sorry that we've been pretty slow this week. Between school, working and the God known as Guitar Hero II releasing on 360, it's been an involved week. And a TON of shit has happened since we've been gone that I want to comment on, so I'm gonna go with a Shanoff-style bullet point post.

• OK, so Colin Cowherd totally fucked the big lead - I'm not gonna say too much about it because it seems like everyone is in agreement that he was a no talent hack before the incident and that he's a pathetic no talent hack after. Let's just say it sucked to have the big lead gone for 3 days... I could just start getting it to load about an hour ago. It's funny how the Worldwide Leader is so clearly threatened by the growing blog community.

• Billy Donovan stays at Florida, Rick Barnes stays at Texas (they could have taken him), Bob Huggins dips out of K-State, and Billy Gillespie goes to Kentucky. Everyone seems to think he's perfect there because they need recruiting, but let's not cum in our pants just yet. UK needs a lot of work, and Billy isn't gonna start pulling All-Americans out of his ass. As for Huggins, he really couldn't come out of this thing looking good; last year, it seemed like K-State was the only place that would give him a shot and now hes bolting just like that. Hard to fault the guy though. If anyone should be taking the heat that Hugs is, it's Gillespie. He agreed to a contract with A & M, and simply waited just long enough before signing it that he could walk.

• So that jap pitcher for the Sox that everybody seems to love so much looks good. Doubt he'll end up being worth all the money, but I guess the firestorm with the international press will help even some of that out. It'll be interesting to see how he holds up over the year and where he falls in line with guys like Santana and Halladay in the AL. Pay attention after everyone's seen him at least once - that will be the real test.

• In more proof that the media climate is changing, a blogger incited a Major League Baseball investigation into K-Rod. It's funny how the Angels seem irritated that anyone is even giving them shit for this, especially when it's pretty fucking obvious that something is up.
  

• Bill Belichik busted up another marriage. I knew the guy was a lowlife, but I gotta hand it to him. I mean, who seriously would have ever guessed he'd be able to pull two different chicks from their husbands? Shut up, you did not.

• I gotta hand it to A-Rod... he got it done today. Ninth inning, two outs, bases loaded, down one - and he strikes - wait no he hit a game winning grand slam?!? And those pisshead Yankee fans will still boo him next time he grounds out. They're gonna miss him when they boo him into an Angels uniform next year.

• So Tiger Woods stormed back to one behind the leader? That means the jacket is all but his tomorrow.
  

• Have you read Anna Nicole's diary? Jesus Christ, I almost feel bad for her. That bitch was fucking retarded. Not like Miss Howard Stern dumb, but seriously full-on, can't function in reality because your head is a brick type retarded. I think Timmy from South Park could beat her on an IQ test. (And while I'm linking to What Would Tyler Durden Do, here's Sloane from Entourage's nipple. I shouldn't have to mention it's NSFW.)

• As I was watching the Phillies game while typing this I heard a fun fact - Antonio Alfonseca is known as the octopus because he has six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. That is fucking gross. I almost threw up in my beer. This image is forever burned in my head, and now yours too.
  

• OK, I feel bad about doing that to you. So here's a little swank to make up for it.

That's it for now. I'm gonna go get five stars on John the Fisherman.

Dirty Dungy

Sometimes in life you find out things that you really didn't want to know. First it was when I found out that Santa was a fake (way to ruin all my dreams mom and dad look at where I am now a 21 year old lifeguard who posts random thoughts about sports on a website, its all your fault). Second was when Michael Irvin got caught with cocaine, I mean seriously who saw that coming. Thirdly and most importantly was when I realized that all Eagles fans are actually flaming homosexuals and HUGE John Amaechi fans (Actually I knew that last one my whole life, Troy Aikman told me that while he was busy winning three of our 5 Super Bowls, Randall Cunningham was busy making sweet man love with Ron Jaworski). However, the best discovery of the past week was when we found out that Tony Dungy, the NFL's Model Citizen, turned out to be a big Tim Hardaway Fan.

Thats right Tony Dungy, the coach who doesn't curse, doesn't like gays. Dont believe me? Check it out. http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=2414

Although his quote does not directly say that he hates gays or is homophobic, he clearly feels self-righteous about his beliefs and is against the thought of gay marriage.

Here at THHY, we would like to make it known that we completely support Dungy and his anti-gay marriage philosophy. Now I dont have anything against gay relationships, OJ and Shawn Mc have had one for a long time, but the main reason I am against gay marriage is because of the tax-breaks they would receive. Those tax-breaks are there to benefit married couples who are starting a family and need money to help raise children, not for the couples who lack the scientific ability to reproduce. For you cynics out there, it is nearly impossible for John Amaechis to adopt because of the screwed up situation the child would be placed in, that is unless your rich gays.

Okay although I realize that I have completely bashed gays there, I do want throw out my support for real lesbians. I'm not talking about the 6'5" female basketball player lesbians that Pokey "Sticky Fingers" Chatman likes to recruit. I'm talking about the lesbians that we've dreamed about since puberty. If I ever meet a couple of real lesbians who are around 5'6" 115 lbs and gorgeous, I will argue to death about their rights to adopt and be married. As long as I get to watch the honeymoon!

Speaking of that, I thought college was supposed to be my prime chance to meet hot lesbians. Man was I wrong, real lesbians are the Santa's of the grown man. Your friends tell you stories about seeing them but you haven't yet. You keep holding out for your chance but it never comes. Then one day, you may be watching sports center or looking up porn when your girlfriend/hook-up buddy comes up to you and informs you that Real Lesbians don't exist. Nothing is more depressing than that moment, everything you've thought of and worked towards since being a 12 year old boy is gone. Now the only chance you'll ever get to seeing lesbians hook up is at a Girls Rugby Team party, but those aren't real lesbians.

Hey, there's always hope of a three-some though!

Finally, I don't want to come off like Bill Simmons here and spend the entire back end of my post telling you about other things on the internet, but heres a couple things that I found worth wasting some time.

If you ever wondered what a Star Wars Rap would look and sound like, here you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8s7PIGVZow

Oh and in case you wondered what instigated the Levi Jones-Joey Porter love-fight check this one out http://www.themightymjd.com/2007/03/20/joey-porterlevi-jones-fight-the-transcript/

Thats all I have for now, enjoy and if your gay dont even think about getting married!