Let's All Line Up To Fellate Tim Duncan

Tim Duncan is innocent. Tim Duncan is always innocent. He's never done anything wrong; he plays the game the right way, he doesn't talk trash, he doesn't throw teammates under the bus. Everyone loves Tim Duncan. If only every player in the NBA was like Tim Duncan.


Well suck my ass, Tim Duncan. You are a whiny pussy and you need to grow a real set of balls. You are the softest "superstar" in the league. OK, so Joey Crawford has gone somewhat over board in the past. But are we seriously suspending referees indefinitely now? Solely on the word of Tim Duncan? No one knows what was really said between Crawford and Duncan. If Crawford really challenged him to a fight, and Duncan says he would fight him, how come Timmy Boy didn't do anything at the time? He didn't get fired up or challenge Crawford at all. Because Crawford didn't say that, first of all. And because Tim Duncan is like the kid at a frat party who gets all fired up at some other asshole and screams his head off, but always manages to get caught between who he wants to fight and people who are holding him back and never actually throws a punch. He always conveniently is pulled away from the fight that he tried to start, and runs his mouth afterward how he would have kicked ass if he had the chance.

Well, fuck that. Are we really going to suspend a referee without due process or a fair trial for an undeclared period of time based solely on what Tim Duncan says? It's like we're fucking Nazi's and that's complete bullshit. What happened to zero tolerance? What happened to reeling in these cunt bag players who try to upstage refs? All of a sudden because it's Tim Duncan who acted out and ended up on the wrong side of a couple technicals, the policy is at fault? The zero tolerance policy has been too extreme from the start. But it's the policy this year, and suspending a referee for upholding the rules of the league is setting a dangerous precedent. As long as Tim Duncan gets his way like this just because he's the "poster boy" of the NBA, he will never stop whining and generally acting like a little bitch. Stick to the guns you put up Stern. Don't let some sloppy cunt with a bunch of sand in it influence how you run your business.

Ridin' the Deuce

Time for the long awaited, hotly anticipated Vegas post. But before we get to that, some paparazzi friends of mine in Florida happened to run into Black Jesus down there and sent me a picture, so I figured I'd pass it along to you guys. Enjoy!

• Like I said before, the best part of Vegas is the open container law. There is nothing better than walking down the street and having a beer. Or a Jack and water. Or a yard of margarita from La Salsa (translation The Salsa). It is such an inconvenience to have to chug your drink and then be empty for the walk. How refreshing! And the craziest part was that there was never any problems. Everyone was in control, there was no disturbing the peace - the biggest nuisance about all of it was the illegal Mexicans that stood on the corner trying to flap baseball cards with hookers on them at you.

• We had a room at the Luxor - the black pyramid that with the light shooting out the top. It was four of us in the room; Dennis, Shawn Mc, Steveo and myself. I took a cot, Dennis and Shawn shared a bed one night, then each got their own, and Steve eventually wound up on the floor. But I'll get to that story later.
  

• There's nothing better than a $5 blackjack table; unless you sit down and get shelled by some Armenian dealer, who just sits there with this shit eating grin, and doesn't even apologize when he flips a face from under his nine to beat your fucking 18 for the fucking third time in a fucking row. FUCK! At least the free Jack's help.

• As much as you think anything goes in Vegas - and for the record, I didn't see one official cop the whole week - if you go anywhere near a casino, you'll get carded three times before you get within thirty feet of a table. What a pain in the ass. And speaking of age, I couldn't believe the number of kids there. So many parents brought little ass kids to the Strip. How dumb is that? There's nothing for them to do there, and a lot of casinos even have certain restrictions regarding kids. That leaves them with little options to do other than the pool all day. And that week was not exactly poolside weather. The parents, because you can't take your little kids anywhere, have nothing to do either. You can't gamble, you can't drink, you can't even visit the casinos to check them out. Your stuck at the pool. You're in the middle of a desert, and it certainly isn't pool weather in March. Go to fucking Disneyworld you dumb pricks.

• Man, I just got really stoned during Entourage. Part Two tomorrow....