Awakened by Atlantic City

Unfortunately for myself I have finally awoken from my giant sex-coma, it was quite glorious. However, since I am alive again, I figured I might go ahead and give you guys some intelligent sports insight unlike the Joo's Penthouse Forums that have gone up lately. Personally I dont care who the hell he bangs or how he does it, unless she's fat cause then he's gonna catch some shit. But at least it was better than NASCAR.

Here's a quick fill-in of what happened with me during my absence- Florida, Coaching, Swim Meet, Family, Easter, Home, Atlantic City, Gambling, Third Eye Blind, Gays.

The first six aren't really worth mentioning but I had a fucking great time in Atlantic City. I saw the Third Eye Blind concert at the House of Blues which is in the Showboat Casino below.

Now I realize that Third Eye Blind is kind of a girly band but I know that you have memorized the words to Jumper or Semi-Charmed Life so you are just as gay as I am. I was a little nervous about them putting on a shitty show because I heard they sucked live but the concert was actually pretty good. The most surprising thing was actually the large gay crowd that was in attendance. Dont get me wrong if you like it in the butt I'm not knocking you, but I found it a little disturbing when I saw two guys holding hands and getting close to each other during a song called Deep Inside of You. Let's just say that was a little awkward. The only other disappointment was being right in behind two dumbass girls who were trying to mosh to Third Eye Blind. I was about to take my $12 Red Bull and Vodka and slam it straight in their face but then I realized that I paid $12 for a Red Bull and Vodka and I would rather drink it. Damn they were annoying, I would feel bad for their parents but they're probably fucked up individuals as well.

After that I realized that I spent like $50 on drinks during the concert and I only had like $30 left so I made a bee-line to the penny slots with the old people. I still made a little bit of money on those and attempted to graduate to the Quarter Slots, lets just say I was broke pretty quickly. After that I swung by the Hard Rock to get some of those kick-ass Nachos and then drove all the way back home. Good time though.

Jumping over to sports now, Happy J-Rob day to you. I think its a good idea and definitly a classy move that teams like the Dodgers and Phillies decided to wear the number 42 in his honor today. However I also think that it was a horrible move for other teams such as the Padres who chose not to honor him and did not wear his number. This should have been a great day for baseball but unfortunately a lot of games were rained out today, but at least the Dodgers played. Speaking of the Dodgers and Padres, during the 4th inning ESPN had Hank Aaron visit in the booth and talk baseball with Joe Morgan and Jon Miller for a little while. I was surprised that nobody even adressed the Barry Bonds issue to see how he feels or at least would react, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were not allowed to ask him about that. This made me think about how he would feel about Bonds breaking the record. I know that he had a quote a few years ago that went along the lines of saying "No one has ever proved that steroids make it easier to hit a baseball", but he has to realize that it helps to hit the ball farther.

Personally I kind of hope that Bonds breaks the record and I don't think there should be an asterisk or anything else put next to his numbers. The fact is that steroids were not illegal to the game of baseball when Bonds has been known to take them and since they were made illegal he hasn't failed a drug test. SO WHAT HAS HE DONE WRONG. Everyone is going to say that it was a question about ethics, but no the fuck it's not. He didn't do anything illegal, unethical or different than a large number of other players in the league. Everyone is just being ridiculous and does not want to see an unfriendly asshole take the record away from the classiest guy to play in the league. I like Hank Aaron the athlete and the person a million times better than I like Barry Bonds, but you can't deny him the record because he isn't a nice guy.

One more thing about steroids, for all you people who think that Bonds taking steroids has made it easier to break the record, realize that pitchers take steroids too. You don't face pitchers throwing fast-balls in the low 90's, just about every pitcher comes into the league throwing 95 miles an hour and most end up pitching only about 1 inning a game. Bonds faces teams that feature specialized bullpens, harder-throwing pitchers, teams that pitch around him every chance they get. It really takes away from not only Bonds, but all of today's players when you say that the game is easier now than it was in the past. If we keep this up then we will not see another great player, because everyones greatness is going to be questioned. Maybe we just need time to pass for us to realize how great an achievement this is, steroids or not.

On to some football, I can not describe how happy I am that Pac-Man Jones and Chris Henry got their ass-kicked on their suspensions (the season for Jones and 8 games for Henry). I also think they should be forced to return part of their signing bonus because they royally screwed their teams for this coming season. Its good to see that Roger Goodell has balls and will step up to a couple of clowns who run around starting trouble in almost every situation. Now dont misinterpret me because I'm no saint, but there is a difference between doing something stupid every now and then as compared to acting stupid on a consistent basis. Henry and Jones are this generations Lawrence Phillips, good players who will never reach their potential because of off-field issues.

As for the draft, I hope the Raiders are smart enough to draft Brady Quinn over Jamarcus Russell. Nothing against him personally, but being a SEC fan I've never been very impressed with Russell. He was shut down against the two toughest defenses he saw last season (Florida and Auburn) and really only stepped it up in the past couple games. Yes he is a physical freak of nature and potentially can be a great, but If I had the pick I would look towards someone who has already been playing in an NFL type system and has been under the spotlight for his entire collegiate career. Whichever stud prospect the Raiders go with will be a good decision, neither one is a Ryan Leaf.

By the way did you guys know that Ryan Leaf is now a quarterbacks coach as well as a golf coach at West Texas A&M? Could you really let yourself be coached by Ryan Leaf? That would be weird. Check out the picture, that is the classic look of washed up pro spending way too many lonely nights at the bar. Here's the link if you dont believe it http://gobuffsgo.cstv.com/sports/m-golf/spec-rel/121806aaa.html

That all I have for now but expect me to be back to the normal posting patterns and allow yourself to be entertained.

Ridin' the Deuce

Time for the long awaited, hotly anticipated Vegas post. But before we get to that, some paparazzi friends of mine in Florida happened to run into Black Jesus down there and sent me a picture, so I figured I'd pass it along to you guys. Enjoy!

• Like I said before, the best part of Vegas is the open container law. There is nothing better than walking down the street and having a beer. Or a Jack and water. Or a yard of margarita from La Salsa (translation The Salsa). It is such an inconvenience to have to chug your drink and then be empty for the walk. How refreshing! And the craziest part was that there was never any problems. Everyone was in control, there was no disturbing the peace - the biggest nuisance about all of it was the illegal Mexicans that stood on the corner trying to flap baseball cards with hookers on them at you.

• We had a room at the Luxor - the black pyramid that with the light shooting out the top. It was four of us in the room; Dennis, Shawn Mc, Steveo and myself. I took a cot, Dennis and Shawn shared a bed one night, then each got their own, and Steve eventually wound up on the floor. But I'll get to that story later.
  

• There's nothing better than a $5 blackjack table; unless you sit down and get shelled by some Armenian dealer, who just sits there with this shit eating grin, and doesn't even apologize when he flips a face from under his nine to beat your fucking 18 for the fucking third time in a fucking row. FUCK! At least the free Jack's help.

• As much as you think anything goes in Vegas - and for the record, I didn't see one official cop the whole week - if you go anywhere near a casino, you'll get carded three times before you get within thirty feet of a table. What a pain in the ass. And speaking of age, I couldn't believe the number of kids there. So many parents brought little ass kids to the Strip. How dumb is that? There's nothing for them to do there, and a lot of casinos even have certain restrictions regarding kids. That leaves them with little options to do other than the pool all day. And that week was not exactly poolside weather. The parents, because you can't take your little kids anywhere, have nothing to do either. You can't gamble, you can't drink, you can't even visit the casinos to check them out. Your stuck at the pool. You're in the middle of a desert, and it certainly isn't pool weather in March. Go to fucking Disneyworld you dumb pricks.

• Man, I just got really stoned during Entourage. Part Two tomorrow....