And Down Goes Young...

Could there have been worse news? I say nay. Vincent Paul Young, Jr. will be the next great athlete to grace the cover of Madden Football. While he will look great on it, and will no doubt be impossible to stop in the game, his what-once-seemed inevitable rise to the ranks of the greatest quarterbacks ever to play the game is now seriously in question. While his impending injury should technically only end this coming season, what if he ends up ripping everything that connects his femur to his tibia like Daunte Culpepper did? He may never be the same again. This is a very black day for sports fans everywhere. The most electrifying man in sports today is on a runaway freight train headed towards the land of washed-up quarterbacks.

Let's take a very quick look at the highlights of previous curses:

1. Garrison Hearst (1999) - Broken ankle, out until 2001.
2. Eddie George (2001) - Somewhat of an anomaly, his curse started the year after he appeared, as he never averaged more than 3.4 yards a carry the rest of his career.
3. Duante Culpepper (2002) - Worse statistics than the year before he appeared, became completely useless as an NFL QB after 2005 injury.
4. Marshall Faulk (2003) - Ankle injury, never reached 1,000 yards again.
5. Michael Vick (2004) - Broken leg in preseason, didn't return until Falcons were already eliminated from playoff contention.
6. Ray Lewis (2005) - No interceptions, team went from division winners to missing playoffs, Lewis suffered broken wrist in last game. In 2005, Lewis suffered season ending injury in week 6.
7. Donovan McNabb (2006) - The most painful of them all. After going to the Super Bowl, McNabb gets a sports hernia in week 1. Plays through injury until week 10, when a blatant cheap shot by Roy Williams finally ends his season. Suffers season ending ligament tear against Titans in 2006.
8. Shaun Alexander (2007) - Reigning NFL MVP misses his first game in his seven year career after injuring his foot in week 1 and shutting it down for six weeks after the third game.

That's eight of the last nine years, and seven straight that a Madden cover athlete has had some form of detrimental incident set them back in their careers. Now, I don't believe in superstitions or karma or any of that tribal head shrinking bullshit, but that is a fucking scary history to look at. I mean, just look at the data for a minute! The only cover athlete EVER on Madden that isn't on this list is Barry Sanders, who retired before training camp the same year he was on the cover. So, he probably would have gotten mutilated that year and never walked again. I guess that was a smart move after all. I need to mention, however, that I left Dorsey Levens off, because he appeared the same year as Sanders - but only in Europe and other shitty inferior countries over there. He did, however, only gain 224 yards that year, then bounce around the league without ever again making an impact. So, without further ado, I present to you the odds on Vince Young's forthcoming calamity.

HIV acquired from mother of upcoming bastard child becomes full blown super AIDS - 250-1

Crazed hippie from 'Madden Nation' stabs Young after VY tells him he doesn't love him - 200-1


Broken leg suffered when Lendale White loses footing at buffet table and rolls across room overtop of Young's leg - 100 - 1
Hernia from holding all of Tennessee on his shoulders, Atlas style - 75 - 1

Sliced ankle tendon courtesy of a jilted and envious Matt Leinart - 50 - 1

Stray bullet wound from a night out on the town with good buddy Adam - 35 - 1

Damaged retina when Madden box thrown by fan for Young to sign strikes his eye - 20 - 1

Jacknifed at mid-field by Joey Porter, shattered vertebrae - 8 - 1

Broken collarbone, arm and ribs after being blindsided by a drunken, bored Chris Henry in week six - 3 - 1

Shot to death by Tank Johnson after accidentally "scuffing his kicks" - 3 - 2

Leave your own ideas in the comments.

UPDATE: I made a stupid ass mistake. Roy Williams picked McNabb on his last play of the season, it was Bradie James that laid down the cheap shot.

Weekend Recap

Ok, so Texas lost to USC. Hardly consolation for last year's Rose Bowl, so you Trojan fans can still sit and spin. Kevin Durant was still incredible (30 of UT's 68 points, plus 9 boards) and AJ Abrams had 20. DJ Augustin only had 6, and unfortunately he never horribly mutilated a knee on one of his bullshit out of control drives to the hoop that end with him getting blocked to the court. Asshole.

Anyway, Jimmie Johnson won again too. What a horrible day. He forced Tony Stewart into the wall with about 3 laps to go, ensuring a win. No way was Tony catching back up after bouncing his front fender off that concrete. Now I'm no Smoke apologist - a well aimed cruise missile at the front of that pack would have made me much happier than either of those two arrogant fucks winning, but oh well. And by the way, what's up with no one having any love for the man in the Jack car, #07 Clint Bowyer? He's had two 6 places, and would be much higher than 9th in the points if he didn't crash out of his top 10 place in Vegas a few weeks ago with less than 30 laps to go. He's looking like a dark horse not to just make the Chase, but contend for a top spot. Someone needs to give this guy a little love.

Let me get back to the tournament for a second. No team looks safe. I know everyone is sucking Kansas' collective dick, but they played Kentucky, easily the worst team any of the 1 seeds played in the second round. And they're in a region where all top 4 seeds have advanced. So if they beat the Saluki's, which is by far no lock, they get either Pitt or UCLA. I have UCLA over Va-Tech personally, so clearly I'm a jackass, but still - I stand by the Bruins.



Florida never seemed to really get it together against Butler. Sure they pulled out the win, but they all look like they are looking forward to taking a break, putting on their dresses (Joakhim Noah) and sitting back fucking sorority girls until draft time. Oregon takes them out.

UNC has never really looked like a 1 seed to me. But, I had them taking out GT so I'm sticking with it. They don't have a chance of winning it all though, no matter who else they play.

Ohio State should get by Tennessee with minimal trouble, but then lose to eventually tourney champ A&M. And it kills me to say that. I HATE A&M. I do. And I hope Acie Law IV tears every ligament in both knees after falling off the ladder while trying to cut down the net during 'One Shining Moment.' Only a prick would spell his name Acie, and only a prick would put Law IV on his jersey. Fuck you, theres no other Law on your team, drop the pretentious number.

So other then the Celtics getting fined and Kobe dropping 115 in two games, nothing much seemed to happen in the NBA this weekend. That leaves the clear highlight of this weekend the 18 hour debauchery that was Saturday. The tournament breaks until Thursday, but we'll be back before that to share our insight and knowledge with you lucky readers. After all, the words on this page are scripture. Except for any negative comments, those are blaspemy.