And Down Goes Young...

Could there have been worse news? I say nay. Vincent Paul Young, Jr. will be the next great athlete to grace the cover of Madden Football. While he will look great on it, and will no doubt be impossible to stop in the game, his what-once-seemed inevitable rise to the ranks of the greatest quarterbacks ever to play the game is now seriously in question. While his impending injury should technically only end this coming season, what if he ends up ripping everything that connects his femur to his tibia like Daunte Culpepper did? He may never be the same again. This is a very black day for sports fans everywhere. The most electrifying man in sports today is on a runaway freight train headed towards the land of washed-up quarterbacks.

Let's take a very quick look at the highlights of previous curses:

1. Garrison Hearst (1999) - Broken ankle, out until 2001.
2. Eddie George (2001) - Somewhat of an anomaly, his curse started the year after he appeared, as he never averaged more than 3.4 yards a carry the rest of his career.
3. Duante Culpepper (2002) - Worse statistics than the year before he appeared, became completely useless as an NFL QB after 2005 injury.
4. Marshall Faulk (2003) - Ankle injury, never reached 1,000 yards again.
5. Michael Vick (2004) - Broken leg in preseason, didn't return until Falcons were already eliminated from playoff contention.
6. Ray Lewis (2005) - No interceptions, team went from division winners to missing playoffs, Lewis suffered broken wrist in last game. In 2005, Lewis suffered season ending injury in week 6.
7. Donovan McNabb (2006) - The most painful of them all. After going to the Super Bowl, McNabb gets a sports hernia in week 1. Plays through injury until week 10, when a blatant cheap shot by Roy Williams finally ends his season. Suffers season ending ligament tear against Titans in 2006.
8. Shaun Alexander (2007) - Reigning NFL MVP misses his first game in his seven year career after injuring his foot in week 1 and shutting it down for six weeks after the third game.

That's eight of the last nine years, and seven straight that a Madden cover athlete has had some form of detrimental incident set them back in their careers. Now, I don't believe in superstitions or karma or any of that tribal head shrinking bullshit, but that is a fucking scary history to look at. I mean, just look at the data for a minute! The only cover athlete EVER on Madden that isn't on this list is Barry Sanders, who retired before training camp the same year he was on the cover. So, he probably would have gotten mutilated that year and never walked again. I guess that was a smart move after all. I need to mention, however, that I left Dorsey Levens off, because he appeared the same year as Sanders - but only in Europe and other shitty inferior countries over there. He did, however, only gain 224 yards that year, then bounce around the league without ever again making an impact. So, without further ado, I present to you the odds on Vince Young's forthcoming calamity.

HIV acquired from mother of upcoming bastard child becomes full blown super AIDS - 250-1

Crazed hippie from 'Madden Nation' stabs Young after VY tells him he doesn't love him - 200-1


Broken leg suffered when Lendale White loses footing at buffet table and rolls across room overtop of Young's leg - 100 - 1
Hernia from holding all of Tennessee on his shoulders, Atlas style - 75 - 1

Sliced ankle tendon courtesy of a jilted and envious Matt Leinart - 50 - 1

Stray bullet wound from a night out on the town with good buddy Adam - 35 - 1

Damaged retina when Madden box thrown by fan for Young to sign strikes his eye - 20 - 1

Jacknifed at mid-field by Joey Porter, shattered vertebrae - 8 - 1

Broken collarbone, arm and ribs after being blindsided by a drunken, bored Chris Henry in week six - 3 - 1

Shot to death by Tank Johnson after accidentally "scuffing his kicks" - 3 - 2

Leave your own ideas in the comments.

UPDATE: I made a stupid ass mistake. Roy Williams picked McNabb on his last play of the season, it was Bradie James that laid down the cheap shot.